My three nephews came to visit yesterday. They were on their way back home to Arizona after spending a few weeks with Grandma and Grandpa. They are two, four and nine.
My husband and I took them to the local water park...It was a blast but I kept asking myself "Is this enough?" Two years ago my sister-in-law told me I didn't spend enough time with her kids at Thanksgiving. That I was punishing them for my own inabilities to have children. I haven't talked to her much since, but I still wonder if she would approve. I really don't care if she does or not, but I can't get her comments out of my mind.
I didn't grow up with an aunt or uncle that took interest in their nieces or nephews...so I really don't know how to be one. Especially when they live half way across the country, or half way across the earth.
I do try my best and wonder why it isn't good enough. I regret not being able to enjoy the moment because of her words. I don't need to prove anything to anyone as I am doing the best that I know how, but her rumblings still filter through my head.
Trying to address the situation has gotten no where, as emails go unanswered. What more can I do? I guess my earlier lesson of "Sometimes friends are more family than family." holds true. It is unfortunate that things had to come to this but I will enjoy the moments I have and ignore the rumblings...ugh.
