Tuesday, January 13, 2009

what?

I found out I have a genetic mutation that does not allow my body to process folic acid or B vitamins. What does this mean? It means that I am at a higher risk for blood clots, heart attack, stroke, cancer and depression. It also means that I am going to have a harder time carrying a pregnancy full-term with the baby being at a higher risk for spinal biffada and Down's Syndrome. That's the short story; now here's the real story.

I told this to my cousin who happens to be a fantastic friend and one of the most positive and optimistic people on earth. I usually consider myself one that looks on the bright side of things but compared to her I look like a dark cloud in the sea of despair. After I gave her the quick run down on tests, specialists and what I don't know yet but hope to find out at the next doctor appointment, she asked what the treatment was. Treating it starts out not that involved but gets a tad more inconvenient depending on the level of mutation. Either option sucks but isn't horrible or life altering; many other people have gone through much worse. After we talked she told me she was meeting her mom and asked if she could tell her the good news.

WAIT...good news? Did you hear what I just said? After two miscarriages and difficulty getting pregnant in general, I just found out all the scary things that can happen to me and my yet to exist baby. Are you crazy?

But she was focusing on the fact that they found something wrong...and could fix it. I had just been focusing on the fact that something was wrong. Grant it is good to get answers and I was happy for that, but it is hard enough to decide to have a baby in general, let alone have all these strings attached and more worry.

I have always considered myself a glass half full person but that is all relative and compared to Becky, I am ridiculously pessimistic and should be looking for the nearest bridge to fling myself off of in a dramatic manner. Here's to our glasses-and to those to give a little of theirs when ours need a refill. Cheers.